How to tell someone you are not gay
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing grave and unrelenting doubt. It can cause you to doubt even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 examine published in the Journal of Sex Research initiate that among a collective of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In order to contain doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer necessitate not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in adolescent children, adolescents, and adults as well. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, found that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden hostile or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s hold sexual identity might feel pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious create is where a sufferer experiences the thought that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su
How Do I Assist My Gay Friend?
by D’Ann Davis
“How execute I help my gay friend?” This is a scrutinize we hear constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world. Twenty years ago not many Christians asked this question, for several knew any matching gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were uninformed to their friend’s struggles. Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as gay or deals with a measure of equal gender attractions. Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of life where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this interrogate is of utmost importance in delicate of the convert of our society and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly chat about their issues. So how does one help a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?
The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question. “Does your friend realize Jesus?” This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to facilitate a friend deal with her sexual attractions. This is because there are two different ro
Hi. I’m the Address Wall. In the material world, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online earth, I live in this blog. You might say I have multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of knowledge, love a ghost in the machine.
I hold some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to investigate tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t mind talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they have been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are hidden, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just favor me, The Acknowledge Wall.
Does “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Function in Open Gay Relationships?
Here’s our latest issue of “Ask Adam” relationships advice column, which appears monthly in the Advocate.com:
Dear Adam,
My husband and I are thinking about opening up our connection. We agree that as distant as we don’t have to hear about the other guys we play with, we’ll be fine. We also know that if we get the details we’ll be jealous and furious. In your experience does this strategy work for gay couples?
Signed,
Ready in Reno
Dear Ready in Reno,
Don’t ask, don’t tell, doesn’t work.
In fact, from what I’ve seen, it ends in disaster.
If you are not talking about your hook-ups then one of the important aspects of your life—your sexuality—is off limits for discussion. Your sexuality becomes a secret. As queer people we have spent plenty of day keeping our sexuality a secret.
And for many, it started a lifelong pattern of hiding.
Sexual secrets can be hot, but they also keep us separate and disconnected from people we love.
A strong LGBTQ relationship gets stronger when a couple learns how to talk about triggering topics in a way that brings them closer together. The continuing adventure of